this is my typical flight …
the plane takes off and i fall right asleep. boom! then, a few minutes later … the flight attendant wakes me up … blaring … telling me about some movie i won’t watch
then … i struggle to get back asleep … but nooooooo … it will not be … 20 minutes later another interruption … my favorite flight attendant again … she wants to tell me about all the drinks they have on board. wow … coke, diet coke, sprite, apply juice, orange juice … V8 … cranberry-apple … cranberry-grape … OK OK! we get it. yes, we understand that even though you no longer offer free food you gots lots of drinks. we get it. and let me sleep.
… and nooooooo … don’t remind me that alcoholic drinks are $3. doesn’t everyone know this by now? can’t you just carry a big sign so you don’t have to wake me up???
asleep again. at least that cranapple-ape soothed me to sleep. but woah!! heh there, it is the pilot this time conspiring to keep me groggy. he wants everyone on the plane to know that we’re over the Rockies right now. uhhhhhhh … who cares??? and if you look out the window on the left side you can see something cool … like snow or something … but i don’t care because i’m on the right side and i want to sleep …
groggy and mad, i thrust open my laptop and pound on some work for two hours. very productive time. but still sleep-deprived, i close the computer and get some more sleep, until, 20 minutes later … boom! the gate information! blasted gate information. the flight attendant proceeds to wow my fellow passengers and i about gate G8 to Newfoundland, D6 to Dubai, I23 to BFE. uhhhhh … do we really need this? can’t we just take a look at the terminal that is right outside the gate when we land??????
I propose a new airline called Sleep Air.
Motto: “we let you sleep” (ok … I’m not a marketing genius)